The Bud Takes a Risk

The Bud Takes a Risk

 

By Jo Wanmer

 

I love the quote, which I read on AsAManThinketh: "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

 

It caused me to think . A bud when it is closed tight is protected from the wind and rain. Its delicate petals and stamens are enclosed, safe from harm, bundled up tight and secure. But the pressure is building! Some thing is pushing them, one against the other and gossip is that at the top of the bud, the protective case has split and some of the petals are being pushed out!

 

 

Actually some of the petals were excited at the prospect of being free, of being able to move as they wished, of greeting the 'Sun' that they had heard so much about. Others were more cautious - fearing unnecessary change!

 

 

Now the report had come back from the top petals that the sun was dulled, and they were being battered by the wind. They were trying to get back in the bud - and all that was doing was increasing the split - and other petals were exposed.

 

 

One big petal was very quiet in all the ensuing discussion! He knew he was close to the Sun now. He had waited sooo long! He pushed up and out with all his might. He could see the split just above him now! I'll try again, he determined. I must get a glimpse! So he focused and tried again. He pushed and pushed and the pressure was too much for the bud and it split down the side. The petal turned his eyes outward! What wonder! What fresh air! The smells! The perfume! The possibilities! The freedom!

 

 

"It is wonderful, just wonderful!" he yelled to the petals behind him. "Come on! Let's show the world how beautiful we are!" He urged.

"But, the risk!" the other petals argued, "Let's stay here - it is more comfortable now the bud is split!"

 

 

Just then a little voice was heard outside. "Daddy, come quick. The bud is opening! Look at the beautiful colour!" "Can you smell the perfume?" was the reply. "No, Daddy, no smell!" "You will be able to smell it when all the petals are open. It will be wonderful"

 

 

The petals were all quiet for a few moments. Suddenly they understood! To bloom, would eventually cost them everything! But to bloom is what they were created for! To remain a bud and die on the vine was unthinkable! "We must bloom. We must all push together. We must be the best most attractive bloom. Then the bees will come and sup with us, and though we die we will actually live for ever!"

 

 

PS:  A week later a satisfied petal lay under the vine, blown against the fence. His colour was fading, but his perfume was still strong. They had done well. The little girl had admired them everyday - but more importantly they had opened themselves completely to the Sun - and the bees had come. And as he looked up to the vine, even now he could see the swelling, just below the last few petals, that spoke of fruit, with its promise of new life.

 

 

Near him on the ground was a bud - it had never opened itself to the Sun. The vine had dropped it to the ground as useless. How sad to have never experienced the Sun - to never have reached fulfillment! How thankful he was that the big petal had the vision and courage to lead them out!!

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jo Wanmer is a free lance writing, living in Brisbane , Australia , with her husband Steve. Together they have a business that coaches business owners. Their passion is to see people reach their full potential.

Labbaik Allahumma Labbaik ...

Insha Allah, I and my wife have planned to do the Hajj (2007) this year. As this important activity has been fardh upon us and Alhamdulillah with my family neatly settled down with their regular chores in Kansas, we decided to take upon this act at the first available opportunity.

As my kids are older enough to manage their chores, Shukur Alhamdulillah, We confirmed our plans.

Alhamdulillah we were able to get the bookings on time and Insha Allah, our journey will start on December 4th and completing the Hajj, we will leave Jeddah on December 26th and will reach Kansas by 4:30 PM on the same day.

With some, I had been interacting from my childhood and to some I met quite recently. Some of you taught me, and to some I had reciprocated. Some of you studied and worked with me, and some are the acquaintances acquired from several masajids. Some of you even bore the brunt of my cooking.  Most of you supported me during my thick and thin years.

Irrelevant of the time span spent and the type of relationship I hold with you, you all are dear to me and will remain dear forever. I take this opportunity to fulfill an important obligation of Hajj.

During the course of time, our relationship would surely had been put to a litmus test. And if by any chance, I had been the source of a pain to you, even for a second, I, sincerely from the base of my heart seek apology to you for the sake of Allah Swt.

For the sake of Allah swt please forgive me.
 

Please pray for us that every aspect of this journey goes on with ease, and Allah swt accept our Hajj and  our duas.

Good Bye Ramadhan ...

Looks as if we stepped into the glorious and blessed month of Ramadhan and already it is time to say Good Bye to it.

 

We soon surely will miss the getting up for little earlier than the Suhur time to offer the additional Thahajjud prayers.

 

The fervent recitation of Holy Qur'an, the increase in the number of visitations to the masajids also to offer our Taraweeh prayers, and simultaneously giving a helping hand to the various fund raisings,

 

The sharing of our Iftaar with other community folks, listening to the recitations of various Qaris while driving on and off from work, educating our non muslim co-workers about the importance of Holy month of Ramadhan and the benefits of fastings, switching the TV off to spend time in learning the Deen.

 

Most important, calculating accurately the Zakaah amount and adding little more to claim additional hasanath from our dear Rabbul Aalameen.

 

I heard in one of the several discourses in our masjid that the companions of our beloved Prophet Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him) could pray to Allah swt 6 months before to participate in the activities involving Ramadhan and would pray 6 months after Ramadhan to Allah swt to accept their deeds performed in this month.

 

I still remember my childhood, how me and my brother Asif would insist our parents

( I pray to Allah swt to provide them the best place in the Jannah and keep them in the companionship of those whom Allah swt loves dearly, Aameen) to wake us up for Suhur. And if for some reasons they dont, we would literally cry the next morning and would complain to our Nana ( I pray to Allah swt to provide him the best place in the Jannah and keep him in the companionship of those whom Allah swt loves dearly, Aameen) about it..

 

Some where down the line, I had been a miniscule part of your lives. Some of you I know from childhood, and some I rubbed shoulders during my college days, Some I met during Hajj, some of you were my room mates and bore the brunt of my cookings and some I met in this land of opportunity. This being the last days of the blessed month of Ramadhan and I would like to take this opportunity to seek apology for if I had hurt your feelings knowingly or unknowingly. For the sake of Allah swt, please accept my humble apology and forgive this grey haired brother of yours.

 

I pray to Allah swt to keep up alive to be an active participant in many more Ramadhans to come in our lives. Aameen.

 

I pray to Allah swt to make us among those who have performed all the Ibaadah in this month with full fervour and zeal sincerely to earn the blessings of Allah swt. Aameen.

 

I pray to Allah swt to accept our prayers, our fastings, our Zakaat, our Qur'an recitation, our Sadaqa and provide us its Ajar in both the worlds. Aameen.

 

Allah Hafiz...

 

Unknown Faces -- Unforgetable Help

Almighty God has means and avenues to safeguard you and chooses nothing but the best for you to shower His blessings upon you. Thus you end up saving yourself from a hovering calamity.

During the Pre-GPS era, driving from one state to another in night, you sometimes tend to loose your way, and end up driving on the wrong highway, there comes a simpleton on the road who comes to your rescue. Hence you end up picking the right track and end up reaching your destination before midnight.

You are trying to move a heavy object ( for example, a 36" TV from your car, into your newly moved home) and out of the blue, your new neighbor comes to your rescue, and helps you move the heavy stuff.

Passport offices in our countries are always have terrible crowdy lines, and someone standing behind you corrects you that you are standing in the wrong queue. Imagine the time you end up wasting, you ended up saving.

Climbing a running bus used to be my fad when I was in college, and one time my hand slipped and an old man grasped my slipping hand and till today, I could feel his strong grip, without which I would have ended up losing my leg.

My mom used to have white bread for dinner as prescribed by doctor addressing her health issues, and it was my duty to buy it everyday without fail. After 7PM, in my days, roads would be silent, dark, with hardly a crowd on it. No motor cars, buses will buzz on the roads. I was 7 - 8 years old and there was a patch of darkness on Peters Road, near Mirsahibpet Market, Chennai, India which always bothered me. I used to do my best to run and save myself from the imaginary monster thirsting for my blood. This was the everyday ritual.

One day while running from this imaginary monster, I slipped and fell on my face, thus losing 15 paise. Literally I started crying, cause I know the beatings I would receive from my mom. Now dont laugh.

Out of the dark, came a dark featured gentleman wearing white shirt and pant came and was smoking.

He questioned me why I am crying. I informed him the whole story. He gave me those 15 paise and vanished in the dark. Its been nearly 4 decades and still I remember him and of course thank him.

There are several such incidents in your lives too that would have occured. I know you'd be thankful to those unknown personalities who visited for a while in your lives and have helped you.

In my humble opinion, this help for sure had been arranged by nobody but our beloved creator
Almighty God.

Win His Heart: A Psychological Approach for WOMEN

Win His Heart: A Psychological Approach for WOMEN

Written by:  Haleh Banani , MA Clinical Psychology

As women, we desire to have a deep emotional bond with our spouse.  We want to be loved and adored.  Our inner core is filled with contentment and happiness when we feel understood and appreciated. Making a wish list of traits we want our husband to have is effortless, but bringing out the best in him takes a lot of nurturing.

We need to nourish our spouse daily with love, support and understanding.    As a therapist, I have seen numerous men who are disappointed in their marriages. Many are frustrated and confused.   Here are some suggestions on improving your marriage.

Men’s Top 6 Requests of Their Wives

1. Be his friend
2. Show him respect
3. Fulfill his physical needs
4. Make him feel desired
5. Make him feel appreciated
6. Create variety

Be a friend

The most important aspect of a marriage is friendship.  When there is friendship, any obstacle can be overcome.  In the Quran, Allah refers to a man’s wife as his girlfriend in Surah Abasa 80:36 which reveals the type of relationship we need to have with our spouse.

John Gottman, a psychologist who specializes in marriage stability in the States, did a study on married couples and found the one element which determines whether or not couples stay together is friendship. Look at the beautiful examples of Khadija and Aisha (RA) and how they showered the Prophet (peace and salat upon him) with love, providing him with true companionship.  Think about your best friend and how he or she became so special in your life.  It probably had a lot to do with the amount of time and effort he or she made to get to know you and spend time with you.  When was the last time you and your spouse had quality time together where the focus was just on having fun and sharing?  An easy way to get started is:

1. Set a date night with your spouse and stick to it
2. Share likes, dislikes, dreams etc.

Your friends are people who accept you and make you feel happy.  How accepting are you of your spouse?  Are you always trying to change or nag him?  These behaviors push a man away and doesn’t create positive associations to you.  Try to hold off a bit before plunging into a long list of complaints about the kids and house chores right when he arrives.

In order to create or strengthen friendship in marriage, try doing the following:

1. Listen, listen, listen to him – I mean really listen without being distracted, without making lists in your mind as he talks and without watching T.V. Remember what he shares with you about his work, about his goals, etc.
2. Share the highlights of the day & be supportive and understanding,
3. Find out what his area of interests are, read about them and be prepared to discuss,
4. Always say please and thank you, no matter how long you have been married,
5. Eat at least 1 meal a day together,
6. Be forgiving – overlook his mistakes and flaws and train yourself to remember his positive traits ( everyone has some – you just have to focus on them),
7. Plan activities together (be it traveling together, playing tennis, walking, eating out,  going out for movie nights – anything you both enjoy doing together),
8. Laugh together – don’t take your relationship so seriously all the time.  Couples that can laugh together, stay together,
9. Have time to cuddle – being in close contact, hugging & caressing melts away the barriers, anger & frustrations.  We all feel better after a nice, big hug,
10. Say nice things to each other – If you spoke to your friend the way you speak to your spouse would they remain your friend? Be honest with the answer,
11. Always make up before you sleep, and sleep at the same time.  Don’t lead separate lives.

Show Respect

The need for men to be respected is so strong that when they are given ample respect, they flourish like a plant that has just been watered.  When they are deprived of the respect, they wilt and harbor feelings of sadness and resentment.  Many times women put a lot of time and effort in keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids and fulfilling all the “duties”, but because they fall short in showing their husbands respect, the husbands will shut down and not show appreciation for all that she has done.  It is critical to be sensitive towards men and their feelings.  Even though men may not be as expressive, they can and do get hurt and it is much harder for them to recover from hurt feelings.

Here are some ways to show respect:

1. Always speak with kindness and politeness, regardless of how long you have been married.  Show the same (if not more) graciousness to your husband than you show your guests,
2. Never shout,  call him names or use profanity,
3. Don’t be sarcastic with sensitive issues – if he has any weaknesses or shortcomings don’t crack a joke about it.  Even if he doesn’t get mad, he may feel hurt inside,
4. Listen to his opinion and honor his requests – you will be rewarded in this world with a happy home and in the akhira insha’Allah,
5. Don’t have a power struggle with him.  When women are demanding and aggressive it makes the men be harsh and rigid.  If you show respect for the role that Allah has chosen for him he is more likely to be accommodating,
6. Show love and respect to his family and be a unifying force.  Don’t be known in his family as the person who took him,
7. Respect his “alone time”, and allow him to unwind,
8. Ask his opinions and value them.

Fulfill His Physical Needs

Intimacy brings about a whole lot of mixed emotions.  Some sisters are not interested at all, some can never get enough and others seem to use it as a way to manipulate their husbands.  There really needs to be some frank talk about this subject because I have seen many marriages suffer and fall apart due to problems of intimacy.

Sisters, if you withhold sex from your spouse as either a way to get back at him or to control him, you are making a HUGE MISTAKE.  Sex is not meant to be a manipulative tool; rather it is a way to bring a necessary fulfillment to you and your spouse.  I have had therapy sessions with numerous men who are addicted to porn because their wives show no interest in them or in sex.  Men will feel the urge to fulfill their physical needs and if their wife is never available or interested, then some men will be tempted to either get a second wife or pursue haram  (forbidden) avenues.  That is why it’s of paramount importance for women to learn how to satisfy their husbands and to be available for them.

Here are some suggestions to improve your intimate relations:

1. Talk about sex together – the majority of couples have never spoken about it so how can they possibly know what the other person’s likes or dislikes are?
2. Only encourage with loving words when intimate – never criticize or judge,
3. Never laugh at your spouse when they are vulnerable and baring it all,
4. Don’t put pressure on him to perform – a large majority of men have performance anxiety.  The more you help him relax,  the less stressed he will be, the better he will be able to perform,
5. Don’t make sex about having a baby – it will happen if it’s meant to be insha’Allah.  None of this, “Quick, I’m ovulating” business. The more relaxed you both are, the more enjoyable it will be, which will increase the frequency and the likelihood of getting pregnant,
6. Ask about each other’s fantasies and as long as they are halal (permissible), then go for it – be accepting and non-judgmental when hearing each other’s fantasies

Your wives are a tilth for you so go to your tilth, Surah Baqara 223. Meaning that you can have sexual relations in any way you want with your spouse as long as it’s halal.

1. Initiate intimacy – don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move every time.  Be proactive!
2. Be engaging during sex – don’t make him feel like you are doing him a favor,
3. Never fake your enjoyment or else he will never learn how to please you,
4. Communicate during intimacy sharing your likes, dislikes and give gentle directions.

Make Him Feel Appreciated

When a man gets married he enjoys being the center of his wife’s life.  He loves all the attention, the special meals and having his wife exclusively to himself.  Once children appear in the picture, everything changes for the man.  Not only is he not center stage – he is not even on stage!   He sees his wife completely absorbed with the new baby and as much as he loves and adores the child, he simply doesn’t want to be replaced by him.

There are so many times that men are made to feel neglected.  Whether it’s because of the newborn baby, her demanding job or her never ending list of errands and voluntarism, men are being overlooked and pushed aside. Each man is craving his wife’s attention.  The woman that knows how to shower her man with attention and appreciation will win his heart.  In my practice, working with couples, I have discovered that most people either have no idea how to show appreciation or they mistakenly show it the way they would like to receive it.

So here are some practical and easy ways to show appreciation to your husband:

1. Greet him with a hug and a kiss when he arrives home. Men have a need to feel important,
2. Make him feel that you are glad that he is home- this will create a positive association to being home; therefore he will WANT to spend more time at home,
3. Get off the phone before he arrives,
4. Make sure the place is presentable,
5. Have a sumptuous dinner ready,
6. Verbalize that you appreciate his hard work and all that he provides,
7. Be happy – nothing shows appreciation like a content smile,
8. Be understanding when he has to stay late or has to travel,
9. Listen to him without multitasking – I know it’s hard for us sisters to sit still and just simply listen, but it’s so critical to make  a man feel heard,
10. *LOOK ATTRACTIVE*

You can lounge around in your sweats all day long chillin’, but before your hubby gets home take 10 minutes to wear something attractive (depending on what he likes – some prefer jeans and a cute top, others prefer short skirts or dresses – find out what he enjoys) and dab some lipstick and mascara on.

Men are exposed to so many attractive women at work, at school, in the malls, on billboards, magazines and T.V. so in order to strengthen them to lower their gaze they need to have something worthwhile to come home to at night.  You don’t have to be a supermodel to look presentable to your husband.  Just spend a few minutes to fix your hair and accentuate your best assets. Keep in mind sisters, that many times when husbands come home from a long day at work they may not immediatly notice your effort to dress up for him, so gently draw his attention to your new dress, haircut or makeup and let him know you did it just for him.

Make Him Feel Desired

When was the last time you gave a compliment to your husband? And I’m not referring to compliments on how well he fixed the leaky faucet. I mean a compliment on his looks or personality that will bring on a genuine smile.  It seems that the more comfortable we are with someone, the less polite and gracious we become.  Does that make any sense?  Each person desires attention and wants to feel attractive.  The need to feel attractive increases as men age, they require more assurance that they are still desirable and worthwhile.  There are two ways to make a man feel attractive: either tell him by giving him a compliment or show him that you are attracted to him.  Here are some ways to show your attraction to your husband:

1. Take the time to look at him – deep in his eyes and have your eyes lock. There usually isn’t enough time to make eye contact and since everyone always has to be careful to lower their gaze in public, here is the chance to stare and be rewarded!
2. Smile affectionately,
3. Be generous in giving compliments – it’s amazing how a person will light up with kind words.
4. Be playful, flirt and make him feel like the most attractive person

Create Variety

Variety is always desirable.  We enjoy an array of meals, an assortment of clothes and a selection of entertainment.  This yearning for variety can be fulfilled even in marriage.

Here are some simple measures you can take to add a little zest and variety to yourself.

1. Get different hairstyles and change the shade of your hair color – make sure it is something he will like.  Don’t go for shocking – always choose styles and colors that suit you the best.  Don’t all of sudden choose jet black if you are blonde for the sake of creating variety – just go a few shades darker or lighter or get highlights.
2. Have a nice wardrobe for the house.  ”What, dress up at home?” YES!  You don’t need to be all decked out, but you need to have casual, nice clothes for around the house.  Don’t just hang out in sweats, pajamas or tacky clothes at home and look your best when you go out.
3. Get monthly maintenance at the salon.  You know the drill: waxing, bleaching, trimming.
   Don’t just wait for a lady’s get-together or wedding to get these things done.  Make him feel valued by looking well groomed at home for him.
4. Invest in nice lingerie – it’s not just for the honeymoon.  If you want your honeymoon to last a lifetime have a selection of lingerie that you wear regularly.  Select items that he would enjoy. Make sure that it looks flattering on you.  Not everything that is seductive will look flattering so choose ones that enhance your best features.  The secret is to look hot at home!
5. Try to create variety by getting intimate in different rooms (make sure you will not be unpleasantly surprised by a little visitor), alter the time of day that you get intimate (it doesn’t always have to be in the evenings) and try to be a little adventurous.
6. From time to time, go for an overnight stay anywhere without the kids- you will be amazed how a different setting will improve your love life.

As you strive to create a strong bond with your husband by being a true friend, you will become closer and more intimate.  This intimacy will lead to a more satisfying and relaxed sexual relationship. With an ego that is showered with compliments, attention and appreciation, men will naturally feel more attractive and desired.  As they start feeling debonair, they will be more intrigued by you and your versatility.  You will create the variety which will break the monotony and have sparks flying. By investing the necessary time and effort into your marriage, you will be pleasantly rewarded with a more satisfied spouse and you will WIN HIS HEART!

Also see:  How to Score BIG with Women: a Psychological and Islamic approach for Men

Strong Memories our children possess - Harness it right

Assalamu Alaikum, Almighty God's peace and blessings be upon you ...

There was a time when I used to lead a married bachelor's life, and in my heart I used to hate it. Anyway, there used to be lots of family people with their kids visiting my home, and to provide personal satisfaction to my heart, I would spend time with these kids.

I would play with them, tell them stories and joke around with them, and they used to love it.

One of the many little girls named Laila (name changed) happened to listen attentively to one of my many stories. And after a long long time period of 8 years replicated it in black and white, presented it to her class (3rd grade, now) and got A+ grade.

When questioned by her father, she responded that she heard the story from me, and treasured it only to reproduce it after such a long years to win a prize.

Her father, my very good friend, ex-room mate called me on the Eid day and shared this wonderful incident with me. My parents(Pray to Allah swt to keep them in the company of Shohadah and Saliheen, give them maghfeerah, provide them shade of His throne on the day of judgement, and allocate them the best position in Jannah Aameen) used to say that children memory is like  wet cement. Whatever you narrate to them, it gets hinged to their memory.

As parents, it is our duty to share with them stories of our beloved
Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), and the sacrifices he and his companions made to spread the Deen of Allah. Share with them the history of Islam, stories of prophets, as this will inculcate in them all the good qualities of great people.

And here comes the important part as parents as we have to play a perfect role model. Dictating a sermon on maintaining regularity for Fajr prayer, and you yourself end up snoring your time, then its a bad role model you are playing.

Here, I would like to talk about my office colleague newly emigrated from Pakistan, who happily claims that he has to wake his son ( a near teenager) only once, and his son gets up ready to go to masjid with his dad for Fajr prayer. Here the father is playing a good role model.

I know this is tough for some, but this is what is called as a "sacrifice". Haven't we read in the holy Qur'an, that as parents take care of your family first, as on the day of judgment you will be questioned about them.

Another good brother of mine from Bangladesh conducts weekly halaqa, and Allah swt has blessed him with a daughter (7years) and 2 sons (5years, 2.5 years). He allocates responsibility to his daughter and first son to prepare few ayah from the Holy Qur'an. Of course, he and his spouse guides them. And when the halaqa day comes, the daughter presents the topic before the whole halaqa members. This way, she is learning and as well presenting the good work.

We must encourage our children, befriend them, pardon their mistakes, pray for them
24 X 7, guide them and most important listen to them PATIENTLY. We must not find fault with their activities. To put it delicately, one must say, "If I were you, I would have done this", not directly commanding them, You fool, you should have done this.

Do you know the name of the sahaba (lady) who fought besides our beloved
Holy Prophet Muhammed(PBUH) in one of the battles against Kuffar.

Who said "Akhdim Akhdim Haizoon" when and to whom.

Who is Abu Dujaana, and do you know in what tale of bravery he is famous.

Name the young lads who finish Abu Jahl in Badr.

Do you know upon which prophet (PBUH) did Allah swt showered golden crickets as a prize for his long patience.

Do you know upon which prophet (PBUH)'s body  Allah swt grew a plant through which he used to feed himself for an allotted time.

Do you know the number of children who spoke when they were just born babies (Two of them are mentioned in Holy Qur'an).

Try to find the answers to all these questions, and share this with your children.

If we dont carve out a path for our children, then the outside environment will make them go astray. Facebook, cartoons, movies, soap operas will contaminate their young minds.
Dora, Barbie, Iron man, Spider man, Spongebob Squarepants will become their role models, and we all know what doom this will lead to.

Pray to Allah swt to protect our children and our lineage to come,  from the fitnah of Iblees.
Pray to Allah swt to keep our children and our lineage to come under His safest custody 24X7, and make them lead their lives within the radius of Deen, Islam, and make them strong momeen and a good Dayee. Aameen.

O Maa, Pyari Maa --- Amma ...

Assalamu Alaikum WRH, Almighty God's peace and blessings be upon you.

As it is raining heavily outside in Houston, TX, and looking out through my window, I let my thoughts stray back just couple of decades back. Similar was the rain, the whole city of Chennai, specifically the area
"Ice House" where I spent my childhood would flood always.

Me and my little brother Asif were in school. The pickup person (rickshaw puller) who was supposed to pick us from school did not turn up. We were struck, and I was in my 4th grade.

Worried to death, nearly crying I was standing clutching the huge iron gates of my school, and there I saw a similar face drenched in rain with her umbrella waving at us.

I let go my tears, and nearly hugged my mom. Bringing us back, she bathed us in warm water and gave us hot soup to drink.

This is just the tip of an iceberg. The amount of affection she showered upon her kith and kin for sure is immeasurable. The values she embedded in our systems guided us in our lives, and whenever we even think of swerving from the right path, her angry yet affectionate face comes to our minds.

She is not with us now, Yet her parting words will echo in my ears till my last breathe. Her first advise was to continue to pray 5 times a day without fail, Pray for her, the family, and to all the near and dears.

The fortunate among you will still have your mother, Mom, Mamma in your midst.
Visit her, talk to her, revive your childhood thoughts, tease her, play with her, and if she still allow place your head on her lap.

This moment will be worth the size of Himalayas in Gold.

Now watch this small song ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5SMOJM7nb8&feature=related

LIGHTING EYES ON FIRE

A mother woke up from a nightmare in which she saw herself lighting a match and burning her eyes. She quickly got up and said her adhkaar (prayers), she then went to check on her teenage son and found him in his room watching a dirty movie.

Shocked and not knowing what to do as her worst fears came true, she decided not to confront him since he did not notice her and went back to bed.


In the morning as she was preparing breakfast she asked her son, "What would one do if he was hungry and had nothing to eat?"

Her son replied, "Go to the restaurant and fulfill his desire."

She asked, "And what if he did not have any money to do so?"

He paused before answering (as if he understood).

She then added, "And what is your opinion of such a person who is hungry with no money for food, and furthermore, takes medicine to increase his appetite?"

Her son answered, "Such a person is indeed crazy with no sense."

So she said, "Yes my son, and you are doing as this senseless person is."

He answered, taken aback, "Me? Oh my mother?"

The mother said: "Yes, by opening your appetite for women (watching lewd movies), but you are worse than this senseless person, for he is increasing his appetite for what he does not have, as for you. you are increasing your appetite for what is haram (unlawful) and not allowed for you to have!"

At this her son threw down his head in shame.

She reminded him of the verse from Holy Qur'an: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts…”

[al-Noor 24:30] 

He said: "Yes, you are right, I am worse than such a person and I was wrong in my actions and if I return to such I will be worse than any senseless person. I promise you I will never return to such acts."

 

Our Lord! Accept (this service) from us: For you are the All-Hearing, the All-knowing. (Al Qur'an 2:127)

Ramadhan @ "O"-107 N. Mathilda Ave, Sunnyvale, CA ... Sweet Memories

Assalamu Alaikum WRH,

Hearing the gentle tap on the main door at 4:00 AM, I opened the door to notice the glisten sparkling toothy smile of Br. Nawaz Bhai greeting me. He enters in the house to appreciate the delicious smell of Chicken Korma prepared by Br. Basheer, and on the other hot plate the Chappli kebab prepared by Br. Firasath was getting warmed to be devoured by all my brothers who visited the above mentioned address to perform the noble act of Suhoor.

Another knock on the door made Br. Moiz open the door to view Br. Alim and Br. Mukhtar smiling and greeting all the inhabitants of O 107 N Mathilda Ave. Br. Abdul Kalam and Br. Iqbal joins the table to start the suhoor. They choose the Keema curry prepared with full of love and affection by Br. Fayaz.

Once done with the Suhoor everyone now starts the chorus.

"Zabardast Chai, Zahid Bhai". Br. Farrukh rushes to give me a helping hand and Br. Alim and Br. Mukhtar distributes the tea. Last to enter the house Br. Asif Yaveri quickly finishes his Suhoor and leaps to get hold of his cup of tea.

Br. Shahul Hameed finishing his Suhoor enjoys the fresh morning breeze outside the house with Br. Safar Senego, and when everyone has finish performing their Wudoo and Fajr Sunnah, Br. Shahul Hameed leads the Fajr prayer and makes a wonderful Dua.

In all the midst gets up Shaktivel and Nanda Kumar wakes up scratching their heads, quizzing and wondering

"Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai, Arey Ye Kya Ho Raha Hai" .....(What is happening?)

This is one of the many wonderful moments we all experienced in that apartment during the same holy month of Ramadhan which we all experiencing now.

Now by the grace of beloved creator are married well settled. Hopefully Br. Fayaz would have found his bride, If not, Allah swt have mercy on him.

Pray to Allah swt to help us forgive the faults of other muslim brother, make our chest clean of all the maladies, give lots of barakah in our sustenance, provide us best of the health, provide our children best of both (worldly and deeni) education, accept our salah, fastings, Zakah. Aameen.

Before they call for prayer,I will answer all prayers

Assalamu Alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barkatahu

 This is an amazingly beautiful story!!

What touches me the most is the quote from the Holy Quran 
"Before they call for prayer, I will answer all prayers!"
please  read on...I  hope we all get to learn something from this!

 This story was written by a Muslim doctor who worked in Africa. 

 One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all we could do she died leaving us with a tiny premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. 

We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no  incubator. 

(We had no electricity to run an incubator.) We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were  often chilly with treacherous drafts. 

One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up  the fire and fill a hot water bottle. 

She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst. Rubber perishes easily in tropical climates. 

And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. 

It is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not  grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. 

"All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely  can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from  drafts. "Your job is to keep the baby warm." 

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with  any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. 

I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about  keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle. The baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the  two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.

During the prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, prayed with the  usual blunt conciseness of our African children. 

"Please, Allah," she prayed, "send us a water bottle. It'll be no good tomorrow, Allah, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon." 

While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added by  way of a corollary, "And while You are about it, would You please  send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love 
her?" 

As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Ameen?" I just did not believe that Allah could do  this. 

Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything. The Holy Quran says so.  But there are limits, aren't there? The only way Allah could answer would be for a package to arrive from the homeland. 

I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator! 

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door.By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the verandah, was a large twenty-two pound parcel. 

I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting.

Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted  cotton jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas.

that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the...could it really be? I grasped it and  pulled it out -- yes, a brand-new, rubber hot water bottle,

 I cried. 

I had not asked Allah to send it; I had not truly believed that He could.

The ten year old was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, If Allah has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!" 

Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted. 

Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you, Mummy, and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Allah  really loves her?" 

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed Allah's  prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child- five months before -- in answer to the believing 
prayer of a ten- year-old to bring it "that afternoon." 

"Before they call for prayer, I will answer all prayers!"

Allah wants us to ask of Him and he will surely answer.

Please share this amazing story with as many others as you can. 


LESSONS TO BE LEARNED:

Don't ever underestimate the POWER OF ALLAH- 

Allah can do anything Allah desires

Kids are innocent and pure- Their duas [prayers] are easily and quickly answered by Allah

The Dedication of this Muslim Doctor - spare time was devoted to Allah to bring others closer to Him- Lets also become inviters to ALLAH

Don't forget others are in need. You may never know when you would be in need! 

Always contribute to good causes. You never know the little you give may save some one’s life..or in whichever way it will benefit them.

 Jazakallah Khairan for patient reading!

What a great painter our beloved creator Allah SWT is ...

Assalamu Alaikum WRH, Almighty God's Peace and blessings be upon you ...

Bidding adieu (Allah Hafiz) to my spouse, I started my journey to Conroe (Houston) office today morning at 5:01 AM from Dallas, TX. Obviously, it was pitch dark, and as by practice, I started listening my favorite tape of Chapter Amma from Holy Qur’an. I do exercise caution at least within the city limit on my speed, and do my best to maintain a constant plus 5 miles over the designated speed limit. The whole journey takes a duration of 3:05 hours, if there isn’t any road accidents blocking the flow of the morning traffic.

After a little while, say crossing 80 miles, as dawn was catching up, the pitch dark color of the sky was very gradually modifying. There appeared on the sky (still dark) the star, which I believed is referred as North Star. With it, it brought a variation in the sky’s color. Among the whole pitch darkness, I did noticed a faint band appeared which possessed a varied combination of dull pink fringed with pale yellow. A color which you would just like to admire on the sky but not on your living room’s wall.

As time passed, say about 50 more miles, the colors on the sky did changed. This time, a faint orange color got added the existing ones, and added more beauty to the sky. As the pitch darkness was gradually melting as a cotton candy in a 3 year olds mouth, the pitch darkness was melting away, giving way to slightly gray color,  adding more vanity to the sky to the existing orange, little bold pink.

When I grasped my straying thoughts, I now noticed a bold orange splendor spreading across the sky. Well, normally I used to experience pockets of fog near small ponds early morning on my way, this my car would pierce forward. But today, as all the Houstonians who hit the highway, would have experience a dense fog engulfing the whole area. I did experience the same.

Well, the time was 07:01 AM, and out of nowhere to the east, my left eye caught sight of a not so bright illuminating sun in the sky in the fog, mild light orange color spreading fast. My senses got captivated by the splendor. By the time, my mind and  limbs coordinated to pick my cell phone to capture this beautiful scene,  the whole magic disappeared. And instead I now noticed an increase in the harshness of the orange color which blended with bright yellow in the sky.

Even though my mind captured this fantastic sight, but was unlucky to capture it on my cell phone. It was as if the whole performance from pitch dark black to pale pink streak to dull orange spread to bold orange with yellow to plain sky blue came to an end. This show of elegance takes place every morning, and will continue till the Day Of The Judgment in varied fashion.

Being a lone spectator in my car evidencing this mind blowing performance,  my humble thoughts went beyond the magnanimous display of colors on the sky.

Who would be this great painter, constantly modifying the colors captivating its audience, feeding their numbed senses to greed for more and more?

This show is for sure not happening by itself.

Isn’t this a constant reminder from our only One Almighty Allah for every living human being stimulating their thought process to accept His greatest omnipresence, and make us bow in humility before Him, accepting His utmost presence laced with His mercy, grace and blessings.

Listening to this, I am sure Darwin would be wringing in his grave.

Astala Vista Bitech ...

We all have something in common.

Bitech.

I still remembering stepping in this office to visit my friend Ashfaq Hussain, who had just settled down after an year long assignment in Dubai. I was kind of fascinated with the environment, as I belonged to a business community and was not exposed to this side of the world.


Later part, I was introduced to Talitha Paul, who explained me patiently  the course chart and as it was pre planned, I took Unix, C, Oracle as my launch pad to a career whose bits and bytes often
confused me.

Then, Dandy Dude Bro. Abdul Kareem, was my first colorful faculty. By colorful, I mean his ties changed colors daily. I can never forget in the most simplified manner, he explained the file permissions and CHMODs. After finishing my never ending C project, I took a break for a month, and initiated my Oracle course.

Moorthy, who is in Sun California was my instructor. I used to notice Syed Ali, Pratibha, Nayeem Hussain, Krishnan and lot others working as faculty.

After a brief pause, I joined and started my career in Bitech as a faculty. Prabhakar was kind enough to demonstrate me the role of a faculty. I was allocated morning and evening batches. His special advise to me was to keep eye contacts with the students.

Great thanks to Mr. Robert Daniels, who understood my need to run my shop as well pursue my career in Computers. Sadly, this gentle soul is is no more with us...

BTW Refaitheen was my C guru, who helped me with answers to all the twisted questions posed by the students.

By this time, we used to share our food in 4th floor of IDM Bldg. We used to wait for Shahul (Tall) Hameed, (who is cozily settled in Klamath Falls, Oregon with a son )and end up finishing his lunch, which always used to be too tasty.


We had the luxury of enjoying Rehman Bhai's tea often.

Then, I was shifted to Adyar Branch. I was the first faculty there and Prabhakar/ Pratibha used to be there
initially. I closed my shop and concentrated fully in IT.


Then Saravanan, Haseeb Hussain Raja, Ravi Shankar, KK, Syed Ali, casanova Azeemuddin,(now in S'pore), Kamini, Valarmathi, K.Ravi (who would sing good tamil songs) and others followed.


I also used to take classes in Guindy Bitech, and everyone who took classes here under went the torture of Mr.Balram.

Sporadically, I was requested by Robert to take classes in GR plaza too. There I came into contact with Farhathullah, Sultan Aarif,Saradha.

Then for the first time a strike struck in Moores Road Bitech. Guys had the nerve to literally say No to taking classes. I still dont know the issue. Robert and Doctor K got pissed off.

After a tenure of 18 months working as a faculty, I was moved into Projects. Well! I noticed Gertsie, Johnson, Valli, Syed Ali, Amin Mohiuddin, Pratibha, Raffic, Haseeb Hussain Raja working hard to put life into Orbits.

After a brief pause, there came a cartoon named Jaidu.

Well! Lots of good people either left or packed to S'pore, Malaysia. I remember Ravi Shankar packing his bags to Indonesia.

I was moved into Asset Mgmt System project and with me was Melban, Martin.

As Jaidu Babu was new, one fine day, he was visited by a dutiful pious moslem named Syed Ali who requested his passport to perform Hajj. Jaidu Babu believed and handed over him the passport. Next day, Jaidu Babu was handed over a resignation letter from the same Syed Ali.


That became a big furor. Everyone enjoyed the trick.

Then I witness one of the biggest disaster happening in Bitech. 5 rooms were allocated to 5 VPs. Marketing
(Indian Thatha Vishu), Emerging technology (Barrel who accurately peed every 30 minutes), and few others
wasteful resources.

After taking heat for a year, I requested HR to hand me over my passport, as I was trying from other
sources to get out of the country.

I was regularly visiting Bitech HR and Washington was taking care of my affair. Syed Abrar who was then HR executive, under Sundar HR VP had resigned, who was my only hope.

Then a miracle happened.

During one of my frustrating visits to Bitech HR, one day, I found Sundar and Washington out of office. Sharon, the HR assistant to Sundar came rushing requesting my resume. I asked for what. I had made up my mind to leave Bitech.

She shouted at me saying, a VP Abdul Cader from New Jersey, Transworld office is on his recruiting tour.
She modified my resume and within 1 hour, I had my offer letter from him.

This infuriated Jaidu Babu to the max. He literally shouted for over taking him.

A game of patience and torture started.

I was informed by HR that Fedex lost  my H1B papers. That too by Fedex. With me, were TRS, Arthur Shaw, Mahadevan. Anyway TRS flew to NJ little early.

The game of wait went on for months.

Mahadevan lost his cool and blasted Sundar with Adengwa...

I used to keep in touch with Ashfaq/Nayeem who had comfortably settled in California. He updated me about my H1 status. Also, I got an assuring mail from Ashfaq that I am tasting the vicious taste of bad politics being played around me.

Anyway, all of a sudden like a bolt out of blue, I got my papers in May end, and landed in NJ on 3rd June
1998.

Every vacation visit to Chennai, would never end up unless I paid my visit to transformed Bitech.
Bitech got shifted to the new building.

Then, we heard about closure of franchises. Well! it is truely saddening to know that Bitech is about to shut its door. Its door is closed in IDM bldg. It is breathing its last breathe.

This is the current position of Bitech.

Since there is no project or any activity in Bitech, they reduced the staff count to 20. They have started another company called Transworld Information Solution Pvt Ltd for doing only offshore projects and planning to fire 15 more and close BITECH. Right now there is an Clarify offshore project is
going on and only 15 people are working.

Bitech office at Moores road  will be closed very soon since there is only one Southern Railway maintenance
project is going on. Now they have moved back to our old Bitech office(IDM building). At last our Jebaraj Daniels has resigned his job and went to Saudi. The New Transworld Solution office has moved to Kellys (Kilpauk Gardens) and the Clarify team is working from there. There is no more software office at Buharia Towers.

Today, its been more than a decade since I left Bitech,  Only one thought now comes to my mind .....

Astala Vista Bitech.....

Papers Shred ... Not Memories ...

Assalamu Alaikum, Almighty God's peace & blessings be upon you all ...

Tear and Shred, Tear and Shred was all I was doing from last 2 evenings. I was shredding all the old documents, several lease agreements, car service documents, bundle of oil change papers, speeding tickets awarded several years ago (First one was on 10/10/2000), sunset projects documents, immigration documents, receipts paid to lawyers and the list goes on.

Papers shred NOT MEMORIES...

Do you think that one can shred away good memories just like that. NEVER, unless you leave this planet with people thinking about all the good times you spent with them, or one looses his top, God forbid.

Thoughts lingered in Vista Capri North apartments, San Deigo year 1998 with my first room mate Mohammad Aliyar. Good cook, started sharing the apartment after he got involved into a multiple 3 car accident (New Driver Eh!). Even though bad memories lingered in him, but soon he over came. Time well spent with him.

Most of the memories lingered on the N. Mathilda Road, Sunnyvale, CA. Lived with several room mates. Did lots of trips to Los Angeles, San Deigo, Sqaw valley, Lake Tahoe, SFO and where not. Drove to Klamath Falls. Still have a rock picked around Lava mountain from Oregon.

Madison Park apartment in MO had its own flair. Best voted room mates Farrukh & Zafar were living with me. Best Cooks, friends on whom on can lean on always for good advise. Suhail Wadera, a Kashmiri born, staunch tamilian (He lived in Bangalore and spoke tamil with funny accent)  room mate lived with us for a while. God bless them and their families and other room mates as well. This is when I received a news sending million of shock wave across my body. My best friend, my Mom passed away.

Zafar tagged along with me in Lakes at Lions Gate apartment (3 bedroom luxury apartment) in Overland Park. Never even for a single day we were without fun there. We had several guests living with us there some time or other. Shakeel Khan, Kaleemullah, Iqbal Khan, Basheer Sabi, Zakir Syed, Suhail Ansari. Everyone I hope still relish Prawn Dopiaza prepared by Zafar.

Then, I started living alone for a while. And was joined by my another best room mate Thameem Ansari. His black pepper rasam and baked Salmon fish haunts me a lot. Of course, Imran Khan IBM (there were too many Imrans, hence added IBM) started sharing with us. Sajid Bhai's Chai was fantastic. After every dinner, in chorus we all will sing. Zabardast Chai, Sajid Bhai

and smilingly, Sajid will prepare tea for us.

Other room mates who lived with me were Werner Goveya (a gentleman from Goa), Nona Dinamoni (a smart keralite),

Rajan Babu (good Thambi), Shaik Hafeez ( Mechanical engineer from Hyderabad), Alim Fadra (Bhai from Mumbhai), Nawaz Bhai (from Chennai), Sheikh Labeeb (From Kay town, Kayalpattinam), Rajiv Singh ( a good singer) and the list goes on...

Also, I came across a letter which was full of earnest plea written to the US immigration officer in Chennai consulate, drawing a picture of how our family was suffering due to the delay being caused in the processing of the family GC. After a month of sending that letter, my family received their GC, and landed here with me.

Life turned 180 degrees. Became more responsible.. No more flights to SC, WA, CA. Taught my wife and kids driving , and several other things. Still continuing to guide them. Kids are all in college, about to finish their bachelors, slogging their way in the society.

Whew! As mentioned earlier, even though I have shredded all the old documents, your thoughts will linger in me and my system till my last breathe. I learned a lot from you all. All of you gave me respect and valued my sentiments.

Thanks again for being with me, accommodating, respecting, also having fun.

Some of the dailogues: (In Tamil) Correcting my first CBBatch program: Seriyana Kirukku Poochi Nee Bhai.

In Hyderabadi Accent: Pinda Tumhe Keema Ka Saalan Pakaao Naa. Kitna Mushkil hai maaloom hota.

In Kashmiri Accent: Kitna Khaa leta hoon main.

In Bangalori Accent: Jey Mamu! Kaise Hain

In Karachi Accent: Degh Se Pehle Chamche Garam

After losing his first job, a room mate wrote on his mirror: "If God wills, I will get a new job tomorrow".

Waking up at 2 AM a good brother asks: Chalte Kya Golden Gate Bridge? And we ended up driving to Golden Gate bridge.

Douzing one room mate's anger, a respectful room mate graciously says: "Arey Mere Pyare Bhai?"

A Mumbaitte brother: Cartoon Hai Thoo Poorey Ka poora Cartoon.

A Guntur Co-worker: Man! You are a gone case.

A young soon to be married after watching Aishwarya Rai's Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam: Dada Bhai, Aise Dil ko hila dene wale picturaan nakko dikhaao naaji"

My current room mates dailogues:

My daughter: Aboo! I am done with my classes, can you please pick me up from the college.
My 1st son: Daddy! Do you want me to do the groceries today.
My excited 2nd son working in Fry's Electronics: Dad! A humongous discount is being offered on such and such electronic item, What do you say? He already knows my answer. 
My better half/ My home minister: Jee! Don't forget to purchase Pothina, Kothimir, Kadipatha. No Sambar / Rasam without it.

Keep in touch .....